"Giving without Strings"

[several days late posting this - 16th December entry]

It is so difficult not to keep track of some things and so easy to lose track of others!  Giving and receiving can so quickly become a tit-for-tat game, "keeping up with the Joneses" affair.  I struggle with this, as my blog readers know, worrying that someone will think less of me if i don't give a gift, reciprocate a card.  And yet i know that that's unimportant, that those who loe me don't keep track of my giving.  However my turmoil extends beyond, to charities, good causes.  I received an appeal letter in the name of Harris at my old address.  I thought "I should contact them and update my details".  Then i thought that i could simply ask them to stop mailing me and then i thought "But they'll think i don't care" and somehow, on some level, i seem to believe that the universe, God, will judge me.  Yes, despite what i say i believe, at the end of the day, i'm stuck in the trap of wanting to please and of "doing the right thing".  I am so grateful that i am surrounded by true friends who remind me of true worth.